Introduction  |  Chapter One: Getting Settled

The History of Scarborough
Uprightly and Faithfully Documented by
Mephistophicles, Phookik Archivist

Introduction: Pre-History and Discovery

The Town of Scarborough was first discovered by civilized explorers in January of the year Two Thousand Five. The explorers in question were the notable Bren and Bob, of our very own PNE, and they thoroughly scouted out the community as a potential habitat for further pioneering settlers, most especially brothers and sisters. To understand fully the community it is important that we examine in short some of the events prior to its discovery.

 
Long ago in the deepest recesses of Pre-History, the town of Scarborough came spontaneously into being during an accident involving a portal to the Fae realm, three clutzy wizards, and a very disgruntled donkey. The dwelling places thus created served many purposes over the course of the years, including being used as a Zoo, a haberdashery, several small but unsuccessful business, Thracian style public bath-houses, grazing territory for rare wood-loving breeds of barbarian equines, and innumerable other similar or dissimilar things.

 
It was within the 10 years leading up to the town's discovery that things began to get really interesting, most likely in prescient preparation for that most important of events. Regular habitants began to gradually move into the community, including many notables who still live there today in the modern days of documented history! What with the higher population in prehistoric Scarborough (sometimes called "Ugg-ville" by the prehistoric residents) it became increasing important for terrible things to begin happening, as there were now people for them to happen to.

 
Extremely large and scary monsters attacked with ever escalating frequency, and no matter how deeply they buried them there were always more coming, or people digging up the old ones and getting eaten again. Among some of the more notable monsters in question are the Ferocimaximus Ted, the Doomasaurus, the Great Googly-Eyed Beast of Bristol, and a Necromatic bad guy by the name of Queue... or maybe Zee.

 
What with the lawless craziness and miscellaneous hazards of living in such a highly exciting place, the town went through a series of different styles of bossmen and in-charge types, but then, one day, A Duke showed up and named Mr Jinx Sir baron and m.v.p. over the entire Barony of Turkey Water, which had to have been really neat and exciting for everyone.

 
It was not long after this that the town of Scarborough was sighted, scouted, investigated and stamped with ye olde bigge stamp of approovaille by Bren and Bob Phookik of that most excellent of organizations, the Phookik Nation Emporium. (We love you mama). The brave explorer twins (Bren and Bob, remember) arrived in the town late one evening early in the year Two Thousand Five and quickly made rounds and investigations to determine the fitness of the community. They found themselves admirably escorted by a small fuzzy guy named Tour Guide, and were introduced to a great many fascinating personages including the famous Only Child, Spiritual Advisor, Camouflage Trainee, and the first incarnation of the Phookik name Lawgiver.